Anybody who has been following the news will doubtless be aware that - and how can I put this? - there is quite a lot going on right now. A war in Europe for the first time in decades; the ongoing, and ever-increasing, threat from global warming to the very existence of this planet; global economic turmoil and the threat of recession; energy prices at an all-time high threatening to make this winter colder than most; and Ford announcing that it is to cease production of the Fiesta model after more than 45 years.
Okay, so that latter point is very much small fry in the grand scheme of things, but you get the point; the world is a deeply scary and unpredictable place right now, and we need our politicians in all countries to be knuckling down and dealing with them. You can argue that politicians in Westminster aren’t doing enough, but at least they are at work…
Well, most of them are. The ‘current’ Member of Parliament for West Suffolk isn’t interested, it appears, in pressing economic and geo-political issues. Instead, he’d rather eat kangaroo anus and shower in a white bikini on the other side of the world as a ‘contestant’ on ITV’s jungle programme-thing. Well, I guess that means he’s nowhere near a care home…
Matt Hancock will go down as the worst Secretary of State for Health in British history, overseeing and initiating a catalogue of failings during the Covid-19 pandemic which resulted in the UK posting the second-highest number of excess deaths from the virus in the whole of Europe. In terms of deaths per 100,000 people, the UK is ranked fifth, behind only Chile, Greece, Brazil and the United States of America, according to the Johns Hopkins University.
As Health Secretary for the duration of the pandemic, Hancock’s contribution to this unedifying title goes without saying. There is not enough space here to list all the errors made, but whether it was discharging untested elderly people from hospital and into care homes, not locking the country down early enough, or being insufficiently stocked with personal protective equipment for healthcare workers, Hancock and then-Prime Minister Boris Johnson let the virus spread like wildfire.
Of course, Hancock could always protest his innocence, or at least defend his record, if he wanted to by turning up to the ongoing Covid-19 Inquiry. This will represent the first time in history that eating crocodile bollocks has been the lesser of two evils.
It’s baffling, really, how an individual with a propensity to screw things up and a well acknowledged reputation for sheer, unbridled incompetence, has held as many cabinet positions as he has. But then again, if Gavin Williamson can become a ‘Sir’, literally anything is possible…
If you were to ask me how Hancock is progressing in the jungle, you would be met with a blank expression on my part. I simply refuse to watch that programme, and not just because of his appearance in this series; I have never watched the programme during its (bafflingly lengthy) lifetime, partly as a result of finding Ant and Dec about as funny as a mouth ulcer, but mostly because, as an animal rights campaigner, I find it detestably cruel to wildlife.
So, if you want to catch-up with the latest goings-on in the Australian jungle, I respectfully suggest you get a life. And if you are Matt Hancock, I respectfully suggest you get on a plane back to the UK, answer for your well-documented woes, and return to Parliament to do your job as an elected representative.
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