‘One day at a time’, ‘one step at a time’, ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’. These might should like well-worn cliches, but, generally speaking, things become cliches for a reason - because they are true.
When it comes to mental health recovery, those aforementioned phrases most definitely apply. The importance of celebrating the small wins, of not overburdening yourself with an endless to-do list and a finite amount of time in which to complete it, cannot be overstated. I am slowly beginning to learn this, after spending far too much time pressurising myself.
I had a successful trip to the dentist yesterday. Doesn’t sound like much of an achievement on the surface but, considering I’ve been shutting myself away (as is common at this time of year), I was - and still am - quietly proud of myself. I’d been fretting about it, both consciously and subconsciously. But I did it, and the dentist is something I can forget about for another three months until my next appointment.
The point is, it wouldn’t necessarily matter if I didn’t leave the house for the next few days. I’ve proven to myself I can do it, and so will continue to celebrate this little win, until the next time.
It’s these ‘little wins’ that are so important when going through recovery. Starting from a relatively low base (in terms of what is achievable) and embarking on an upward trajectory. It could be absolutely anything, from self care and personal hygiene to returning to regular exercise. You don’t have to complete the Parish Walk or run a 5k in one day; instead, try setting yourself a target of walking for 10 minutes each day to the end of the road. You may find that, at some point, you will want to extend the walk, until you’ve completed an hour’s wander. What an achievement that would be for you to celebrate!
This latter example is not something I have plucked out of thin air - I have experience of it personally. When I was working with my therapist, I was given that very same task of gradually exposing myself to going outside and exercising again, until I was able to do bigger walks and get back on the wagon, so to speak. I have since fallen back off it and, as a keen walker and deep-down exercise enthusiast, I am saddened by this. But I really shouldn’t be; all I need to do is to replicate those baby steps that took me to where I ended up. Life has a habit of getting in the way, after all.
If you are reading this and are struggling with looking after yourself, a very close friend of mine gave me an excellent piece of advice I'd like to share: do one example of self-care per day, be it trimming my beard on Monday, cutting my fingernails on Tuesday, having a hot bath on Wednesday, and so on. By dividing everything into small pieces, ultimately it makes completing that jigsaw puzzle so much easier and more satisfying.
One of the difficulties that struggling with a mental illness can bring about is the thought that all of our problems must be dealt with as quickly as possible. But all this does is pile pressure upon ourselves; pressure which will likely be there anyway. By cutting yourself some slack and slowing the pace, you’ll find you reach that destination in a much more composed manner.
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